A wonderful caricature of intimacy

1st=end=beginning

2012-02-01T13:05:00.004+02:00

Today I am disappointed.

aaand i couldn't have said it better. Well, let's not be that pessimistic. So, I've been lied to, cheated on, have cried, have suffered, have stepped on myself repeatedly, my trust was betrayed, my heart was broken and my dreams were shreded. But today I finally realised what I should have realised a long time ago: I'm better than this. I'm better than him. I love him but I love myself more.

Well, it would certainly be lovely if it were true..

If it's right, it shouldn't be complicated..but if it's not complicated, it's not right. I moved on just to find myself stuck again.

So today, I am disappointed.

Happiness is on the wish list.

1st=continuare

2010-02-01T19:27:00.003+02:00

the 1st of February 2010... Times have changed...no crazy house club today, no alcohol, no dancing, no magic except the magic of life and of course, technology. My concept of happiness has tremendously changed from the one I had last year...or two years ago... I can't even start explaining. It's no use. I've known happiness, I've known love, but am I so different now? I'm just more experienced...
the 1st of February 2010.: woke up to find my adorable boyfriend at my door with a big Starbucks bag, we hung out, he skipped classes and was late for a party. Like I said...adorable.
Times have indeed changed...but have we?

Dare to hit perfection, I believe in it !

2009-12-17T13:57:00.006+02:00

'cause in the end there's only dust, bones and memories.

Open up baby, let me in. Give me what I deserve.
Men may want me but I crave your attention, they may praise me but I implore your adoration, they may love me but I only want your hesitation, they can have me but I fend for our perfection.
So open yourself up baby, and let me in. Let me have my dose of life, and I'll be on my way home, back to him.

Chuck Fuckin' Bass !

2009-10-06T20:18:00.004+03:00

C: "Look, n.y.u.'s hard, but Blair Waldorf does not give up."
B: "I'm not giving up. I've made a strategic retreat."
C: "Po-tay-to, po-tah-to."
B: "You don't understand."
C: "I do understand. Let me help."
B: "No, Chuck. n.y.u. is not the upper east side. They don't care about Constance or the social hierarchy. They don't care that i'm Blair Waldorf. It's over."
C: "And you'd do this to me?"
B: "What are you talking about?"
C: "I'm chuck bass, and i told you i love you. You're saying i'm easier to win over than a bunch of pseudo-intellectual, homesick malcontents? You'd really insult me like this?"
B: "That's not how it is."
C: "It's exactly how it is. So the next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember, i'm Chuck Bass, and i love you."

Amen !
I love you too.

Incomplete

2009-08-07T22:50:00.003+03:00

Backstreet Boys - Incomplete. Sau melodia nr 10 de pe un cd ce mergea pe repeat acum mult timp. Nu chiar foarte mult, universal vorbind, dar raportat la ce se poate intampla intr-o secunda, 6 ani pare mult. Eram alta persoana. Alte perceptii alte dorinte alte prioritati. Oamenii se schimba. Si totusi, uite-ma acum dupa 6 ani, ascultand aceeasi melodie. Ce-i drept, in momentul de fata nu ii simt versurile, cum o faceam atunci, nu o ascult si ma minunez de faptul ca mai exista cineva care traieste ce traiesc eu, intelege ce simt, nu. Acum nu. Acum... e bine. Dar pentru cat timp? Cat va dura pana cand o sa ma plictisesc de starea de bine, pentru ca asta sunt, o masochista, si ce am nu o sa-mi mai fie de ajuns? Cat timp imi va trebui sa desfac inapoi in piese ce am construit si devin iar incompleta, cu ochii pe urmatorul tel?
*Birthday wish: Freeze time. I like the current puzzle.

three words, eight letters...

2009-05-19T20:16:00.009+03:00

did you say it?
"i love you...", "i don't ever want to live without you...", "you changed my life..."
did you say it?

Make a plan, set a goal, work toward it...
But every now and then, look around... drink it in.
'cause this is it.

it might all be gone tomorrow.

Unbelievably true and...kinda' brilliant. Cuvintele cu care Grey's Anatomy si-a luat ramas bun de la noi, fanii fideli, pana la toamna.
Ce pot sa spun... se poarta "te iubesc" in finalurile de sezon... Pana si Chuck Bass a spus-o. Oh yes, he did! Avem timp sa ne revenim din soc pana la sezonul urmator...cred. Ma asteptam intr-un fel sa ramana cu Blair dar n-as fi bagat mana in foc, after all, he's Chuck Bass ! Dar aparent, un Chuck Bass maturizat, satul de jocuri, hotarat si pregatit sa ia ce era demult al lui. Desi as fi tentata, nu pot sa zic ca i-a luat prea mult. A asteptat pana a realizat ca mai multe orase europene nu ii mai trezeau interesul decat prin faptul ca reprezentau locatia unor lucruri preferate ale lui Blair. (Awwwwwwww!) Nu exista un moment perfect... in care sa realizezi ca trebuie sa faci ceva. Chuck si Blair au avut prea multe momente in care parea ca e prea tarziu, insa legatura lor, nu stiu cum sa o descriu ca nici "relatie" nu e cel mai potrivit, ce au avut ei impreuna a fost atat de intens incat timpul nu a contat. You know... "When it's for real it's forever." Obstacolele lor au fost niste lucruri care pentru majoritatea oamenilor nu inseamna nimic, si anume orgoliul si frica de a rata, de a fi surprinsi intr-o alta pozitie decat de putere. Dar ei nu sunt majoritatea oamenilor, ei sunt Chuck si Blair, Blair si Chuck. Inevitable...

Turnura asta a evolutiei Chuck-Blair ma face sa cred ca inca mai putem aspira la fericire. Inca mai exista o sansa sa credem ca putem lasa orgoliul la o parte si sa recunoastem ce simtim, sa nu traim in negare bazandu-ne pe "n-a fost sa fie, a trecut peste, am trecut peste", "In the face of true love you don't just give up. Even if the object of your affection is begging you to". Is that so? I don't know. I can't know. Logic keeps failing to describe what's going on around us, nothing seems to be in its place anymore, mean people are posing good, incredibly stupid people are on top and The Monster of Loch Ness is now freakin' Miss Universe! But there's something I like to believe in: What's meant to be will always find its way. It just has to.

Nine in the afternoon

2009-05-14T20:14:00.005+03:00

Astazi am trecut iar pe acolo. Doua strazi lungi ce se impreuneaza intr-un sfarsit in chinul orei 7.30 ce se vrea a fi o intersectie. Dar ei nu ii pasa. Dimineata, cu toate masinile intr-un sir interminabil, cu sute de oameni injurand, exprimandu-si emotiile, totul este prea mic. Ea ramane rece, privind mareata totul de la inaltime.

Nici focul dintre acele 2 suflete ratacite de prea multe ori unul in altul, sau zgomotul sangelui dens, greoi, curgand din inimile lor, sufocat de atata mandrie, incarcat de povara sanselor perfecte devenite dezamagiri, nici faptul ca acum o alesesera pe ea sa le fie martor la ceea ce parea a fi inca o incercare de a fi fericiti nu o misca. Era noapte. Oare asta o impresiona? Poate. Poate acum isi va sacrifica cateva clipe sa ii supravegheze. Aveau nevoie, pentru ca daca ar fi lasati liberi, sa-si implineasca destinul, ar distruge un mit prea important, ar incalca prea multe legi, ar fi o dovada prea evidenta ca perfectiunea exista.

Simte un puternic val de caldura si cauta disperata sursa. Cei 2 sunt fata in fata, nemiscati. El se apleaca, ea invie in interior. Atingerea buzelor la inceput retinuta devine imediat un sarut salbatic, pasional dar suav, animalic dar calm, perfect. Un sarut DE-AL LOR. Ca si cum trecuse o vesnicie de cand o facusera ultima data, ca si cum amandoi o petrecusera asteptand sa se intample iar. Trecuse prea mult si amandoi o stiau, la fel cum stiau si ca urmatoarea data in care vor mai avea parte de asa ceva era un mister. Macinati de orgoliu, Chinuiti de ganduri, concentrati asupra replicilor, presati de timp, tremurand de dorinta, cele 2 perechi de ochi larg deschisi studiindu-se nu erau deloc o necesitate. Puteau ghici cuvintele care urmau sa le iasa pe gura, puteau numara bataile inimii fara sa se atinga, dar nu conta, vroiau sa savureze totul. Fiecare bucatica de clipa, de corp si de metru patrat. Sunt impreuna acum, acolo si nimic nu mai conta. Mai aveau putin timp pana sa revina la portia zilnica de auto-distrugere.

Nici pentru ea nu ar conta, daca nu i-ar fi stricat singura ei posibila placere. Noaptea, de obicei rece ca si ea, era acum inundata de caldura si lumina cu o forta nemaivazuta. Nu ii venea sa creada ca acei 2 puteau genera asemenea lucru! Sau poate nu putea crede nimic. Pentru ca era doar o cladire.

Schizophrenia is never out of the question

2009-04-30T14:42:00.004+03:00

Hello there. Yes I am talking to you. Stop. Don't put your mask back on, you don't need it now, it's just you and me. You're such a paradox. You think so highly of yourself, always walk around tall showing off that perfect smile, perfect hair, perfect outfit... But not here, not when we're alone. Because in private all your demons come out. Such a fraud... but what is to do now? You're out of TV series episodes, out of chores to do, the only thing you've got left is time. Oh yeah.. plenty of time. I can only assume what you find excruciating pleasure in doing with it. Go on, just do it. It's just the two of us, remember? And I can't get enough of him either. Go light up that last Davidoff Platinum you've been saving for who knows what to go with it and enjoy yourself on the staircase, along with a big, warm glass of cocoa. You know you like it. I know I do. Where is the answer? What is it? Or is there even an answer? You've never done anything without checking it in your brain for a thousand times, you've never put yourself in a less than powerful position, what's wrong? Is it that? Is it your pride? Is it mine? Is it his? It's all of them. But not only them. There's something else there. And you can't figure it out. Apparently, no one can. But yet again, no one is supposed to, except you. So you better do something because I'm not sure how much longer will that mascara last...

In the mood for Victrola

2009-04-15T15:00:00.004+03:00

You can call me x,
You can call me y,
You can call me z,
You can come and try.
Come and try!

Life as a bus ride

2009-04-04T09:47:00.003+03:00

You come to life pure, untrained, uninformed and unaware of anything around you. What had just happened? What effort was put into your being where you are? Why are you hurting? Why is something wet running down your cheeks, or who is holding you and has something wet running down her cheeks, too? Is that common? Well, slowly you start understanding everything even some things you wouldn't want to... especially if you can't do anything about them.
From the 1st day of life you start gambling, you have a chance of being a part of a good family, a rich one, nice parents or the other way around. Of course this isn't up to anyone, you are given your family randomly. It's like getting on the bus to school at 7 am. They can either be crowded or low-populated. Surely there is a shot that even if the bus is full you get a seat. Even if you aren't all that smart, you may have money and that would give you a free pass to your dream job. It's all about luck. About possibilities. But if our life is really like a bus ride, then who's RATB? Who are the people who drive their own cars? Who are the ones involved in other, more important business? I guess we, the humble people, the RATB riders, will never know. We can't know. We are too little. And we shouldn't be interested. We should just accept the system we live in and make the most of our ride. 'cause you can stand and be happy or you can grab a chair but only because you're old or ill, and unhappy included. Sooner or later, we all get off the bus.

Enjoying the silence

2009-03-31T12:33:00.002+03:00

Quiet day...The smell of coffee takes me back to the feel of cold linoleum beneath my toes, my mother at the kitchen counter in her bathrobe and slippers. it takes me to all those late nights in school, to cafe study groups & my younger, more idealistic self. It takes me to that place in Milan, where you told me my smile was like sunshine, where the espresso was as rich and lovely as anything I had ever tasted. That time we played hearts until dawn, the coffee maker casting its warm glow in the dark of our own little kitchen. That time we went to Paris. That time...
It's just me, my thermos and... Eclipse.
But it's still early.

2009-03-29T20:57:00.002+03:00

ok...forget heroin. this definitely must outrun it! am terminat new moon :)) si singurul lucru la care ma pot gandi, singurul obiect pe care mi-l doresc aici, cu mine, cat mai repede este Eclipse. I know, I obsess big. But hey...can u blame me on this one?

like my own personal brand of heroin

2009-03-28T15:25:00.002+02:00

evident, am pus mana pe twilight. si n-am lasat-o jos pana n-am terminat-o. Primul lucru care l-am facut dupa-aia a fost sa vad filmul. Groaznic. E un talmes-balmes total, se indeparteaza destul de mult de carte, stricand ce are mai frumos: dialogurile Edward-Bella. Cel putin asa mi s-a parut mie.
Partea proasta este ca acum am dezvoltat o noua obsesie :)) de parca nu-mi ajungeau Gossip Girl si toate celelalte. Presupun ca o sa fie bine. Diseara. (Cand o sa ma apuc de New Moon :D :)) )

from A to Z

2009-03-25T17:21:00.004+02:00

Ca tot nu aveam inspiratie. De fapt aveam dar lenea a fost mai puternica. Catalina thanx 4 the job.

- Available: Actually, I prefer invisible

- Age: 17 years, 7 months, 25 days and 6 hours

- Annoyance: stupidity

- Allergic: injustice

- Animal: useless

- Actor: Adam Sandler, Hayden Christensen

B
- Beer: Redd's

- Birthday/Birthplace: the 31st of July 1991, Bucharest, Romania

- Best Friends: THE best

- Body Part on opposite sex: neck

- Best feeling in the world: victory

- Blind or Deaf: deaf

- Best weather: rainy when my hair isn't straightened, cold when I can be warmed up by other means and sunny when I have my glasses with me.

- Been in Love: yes

- Been bitched out?: yes

- Been on stage?: yes

- Believe in yourself?: I can't imagine not to

- Believe in life on other planets?: probably

- Believe in miracles?: I believe everything is possible. And that this tends to prove itself a hundred times more often in the bad way.

- Believe in Magic?: I call it chemistry

- Believe in God?: no

- Believe in Satan?: no

- Believe in Santa?: omg, are u tellin' me there is a "no" option?

- Believe in Ghosts/spirits?: no

- Believe in Evolution?: totaly

C
- Car: Porsche Carrera

- Candy: Cherry

- Color: Red

- Cried in school: i guess...probably broke smth playing bball :-?? can't remember

- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate

- Chinese/Mexican: both

- Cake or pie: both

- Countries to visit: all

D
- Day or Night: night

- Dream vehicle: if it's a dream, I can dream big- I want no vehicles, I wanna be a jumper :))

- Danced: still do. pretty good actually

- Dance in the rain?: yes

- Dance in the middle of the street?: yes

- Do the splits?: no

E
- Eggs: any way

- Eyes: green

- Everyone has: their issues

- Ever failed a class?: nop

F
- First crush: can't remember

- Full name: Agent T.A. Carina Alexandra.

- First thoughts waking up: Can't be said out loud

- Food: is more than a physiological need for me

G
- Greatest Fear: having twins

- Giver or taker: taker

- Goals: happiness

- Gum: Orbit kids-the pink one

- Get along with your parents?: as long as they're not being absurd

- Good luck charms: the number 23

H
- Hair Colour: originally- dark brown. currently-blonde

- Height: 5'8 (1,77m)

- Happy: I've been there. i will be again.

- Holidays: =sleep & TV shows

- How do you want to die: happy

- Health freak?: no

- Hate: losing

I
(In guys/girls)
- Eye colour: doesn't matter

- Hair Color: doesn't matter either

- Height: does matter. :)) at least 1,85m

- Clothing Style: to fit him

- Characteristics: arrogant, intelligent, forward but subtle, with good memory, malicious but aware of my value

- Ice Cream: Nirvana pralines & cream

- Instrument: the microphone :))

J
- Jewelry: plastic or silver

- Job: looking 4ward to it

K
- Kids: i want 1 boy, but I'm scared of the possibility of having twins

- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing

- Keep a journal?: too compromising. I rely on my memory. hasn't failed me yet.

L
- Longest Car Ride: 20 hours. by bus. excruciating.

- Love: myself & gossip girl

- Letter: C and K

- Laughed so hard you cried: many times

- Love at first sight: I'd say obsession for one's appearance is more likely

M
- Milk flavour: cocoa

- Movie: so many movies. so many contexts. too different. I could never decide.

- Mooned anyone?: yes

- Marriage: required acting. Monogamy requires genius.

- Motion sickness?: no

- McD’s or BK: KFC

N
- Number of Siblings: 1

- Number of Piercings: none

- Number: 23

O
- Overused Phrases: ones that I should take out of my vocabulary

- One wish: I wish my pride wouldn't get in my way all the time

- One phobia: caterpillars

P
- Place you’d like to live: New York City

- Pepsi/Coke: Diet Coke

Q
- Quail: what about it?

- Questionnaires: boring

R
- Reason to cry: irritation & movies

- Reality T.V.: forgotten stars' way to come back in the public eye and make some more money

- Radio Station: not a big fan

- Roll your tongue in a circle?: semicircle

S
- Song: :-j

- Shoe size: 8.5

- Sushi: not yet

- Skipped school: 9th grade says everything

- Slept outside: a few times

- Seen a dead body?: yes

- Smoked?: still do

- Skinny dipped?: that was the plan

- Shower daily?: 5.30 am

- Sing well?: reasonably

- In the shower?: not really

- Swear?: too much.

- Stuffed Animals?: over 200

- Single/Group dates: both

- Strawberries/Blueberries: mostly strawberries but there's nothing like Starbucks' blueberry muffin

- Scientists need to invent: non-fat Milka Caramel.

T
- Time for bed: scarily early

- Thunderstorms: don't affect me

- Touch your tongue to your nose?: nop

U
- Unpredictable: not for a few than really know me

- Under the influence?: :)))

- Understanding?: yes and no

V
- Vegetable you hate: all except broccoli

- Vegetable you love: :-? can't decide :))

- Vacation spot: I care more about the people I spend it with, not the actual setting

W
- Weakness: pride

- When you grow up: I'll be where I want to be

- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: I love the question. I lote the answer.

- Who makes you laugh the most: ella, anca

- Worst feeling: overfull stomach when you are supposedly on a diet. or hopelessness, or loneliness, or jealousy. God, We have issues!

- Wanted to be a model?: hello! I can actually use my brain.

- Where do we go when we die: we will never know that, won't we?

- Worst weather: Rainy when I've just straightened my hair. Cold when there's no one to warm u up or sunny when I don't have my glasses with me.

- Walk with a book on your head?: haven't tried

X
- X-Rays: 1 or 2

Y
-Year it is now: an unhappier one than the last one so far

-Yellow: submarine

Z
- Zoo animal: i hate zoos

- Zodiac sign: as accurate as can be: leo.

LAST PERSON WHO…
1. Slept in a bed beside you?: Ella and Anca
2. Last person to see you cry?: mom
3. Went to the movies with you?: Vlad, Corutz, Afina and Mihaela
4. You went to the mall with?: this one I really can't remember
5. You went to dinner with?: mom
6. You talked to on the phone?: Silvia
7. Made you laugh?: Anca

mai departe la Ama si Zuanna.

break

2009-03-09T17:53:00.004+02:00

Merg in rand cu toata lumea desi am atat de multi pasi inainte si atatia inapoi. Ma trezesc, ma duc la scoala, ma joc rentz, ma uit la house, ma culc. Nimic nu ma mai fascineaza, nimic din ce vad nu-mi provoaca o dorinta nebuneasca de a mi-l insusi. Nimic nu merita. Nimeni nu mai merita. Duc o viata mult prea mediocra pentru mine si nici asta nu prea ma mai deranjeaza. Nu mai lupt. Astept. Nu ma mai implic. Sunt indiferenta. Nu mai urasc. Ignor. Nu mai sunt eu. Pun pauza. Am obosit.

My number one

2009-03-04T20:36:00.008+02:00

Everything is about numbers. There is no luck, only a calculable probability that leads to a definite percentage. Possibilities are infinite but our lives aren't so we must make the best out of what we have until we reach a certain number of years, and ran out of aces up our sleeve. We are a number of people with a number of aptitudes, a larger number of wishes and an even bigger number of needs.
Speaking in numbers, for me, today was more like "number 1". First day of diet which included 1 yogurt and 1 sandwich. I hope it doesn't include 1 hospital. 1 man had 1 brilliant idea and enough nerve to go through with it and now we won't have just 1 smoking break. I acquired 1 free pack of cigarettes and got to see 1 old friend. I won not even 1 of the games we played today but I passed 1 thousand points several times during 1 game of rentz :)) The last but not the least: 1 year since the 1st day. More than 1 view here.

Worth being said

2009-03-02T16:46:00.002+02:00

Acum mult timp mi-am creat in calculator un folder intitulat "diverse". Am inceput sa bag acolo tot ce gaseam pe cale vizuala sau orala si mi se parea interesant de tinut minte. Asa mi-am creat o mini colectie de quoturi. Aici sunt cateva:

“The only problem with fucking someone as twisted as yourself is you're fucking someone as twisted as yourself!” Cruel intentions 3

“Yield to temptation ... it may not pass your way again.” Lazarus Long

“There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.” George Bernard Shaw

“An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.” Pliny

“Without the heart, there can be no understanding between...the hand and the mind.” Madonna

“What's new seems beautiful.” French proverb

“Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it inflames the great.” Comte de Bussy-Rabutin

“The only people who can hurt you are those you love; you can't be hurt by someone you don't care about.”

“When I'm good, I'm real good; when I'm bad, I'm better.” Mae West

“Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.” Robin Williams

“Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping. Even the biggest failure, even the most irreparable mistake beats the hell out of never trying” Grey's Anatomy

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.” Sex and the City

“I cause the most cause I'm the best” Stefan Bogrea

“Forbidden things have a secret charm” Publius Cornelius Tacitus

“Never make someone a priority, when they only make you an option”

“Girls rule and boys drool” I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry

“For all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: It might have been!” John Greenleaf Whittier

“When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
It's a whole different way of thinking.” Elayne Boosle

“A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't”

“Why is it that men can be bastards and women must wear pearls and smile?” Lynn Hecht Schafren

“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby.” Natalie Wood

“Marriage requires a special talent, like acting. Monogamy requires genius.” Warren Beatty

“Nimic nu se pierde, totul se transforma...”

“Tot ceea ce se intampla o singura data s'ar putea sa nu se mai intample niciodata.
Tot ceea ce se intampla a doua oara se intampla si a treia oara cu siguranta. ” Paulo Coelho - Alchimistul

“The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.” George Bernard Shaw

“Whether they give or refuse, women are glad to have been asked.” Ovid

“Speranta e cea mai mare infidela... seara te culci cu ea si a doua zi te inseala cu zambetul pe buze”

“The only people you need in life are the people that need you in theirs”

“It will be fine in the end. If it's not fine, then it's not the end.”

“Chemistry. Either u got it or u don't” Grey's Anatomy

“During the day...it's the easieast thing to be indifferent about anything, but during the night...it's a whole different story” Ernest Hemingway

Only one allowed

2009-03-01T20:17:00.004+02:00

O leapsa furata de la Catalina. :D Fiecare intrebare=1 raspuns. No explanations. Go!:

Dau mai departe oricui vrea.

1. Yourself? Proud

2. Your boyfriend? Inexistent

3. Your hair? Exhausting

4. Your mother? Great

5. Your father? Gone

6. Your favourite item? Sunglasses

7. Your dream last night? Idiotic

8. Your favourite drink? Varies

9. Your dream car? Porsche

10. The room you’re in? Mine

11. Your ex? Smart

12. Your fear? Secret

13. What you want to be in 10 years? New-Yorker

14. Who you hung out with last night? Dr. House

15. What You’re Not? Resigned

16. Muffins? Absolutely!

17. One of Your Wish List Items? Leather Jacket

18. Time? Evening

19. The Last Thing You Did? Eat

20. What You Are Wearing? Training suit

21. Your Favorite Weather? Sunny

22. Your Favorite Book? HP

23. The Last Thing You Ate? Biscuits

24. Your Life? Hectic

25. Your Mood? Sleepy

26. Your body? Average?

27. What are you thinking about right now? Tomorrow

28. Your car? RATB

29. What are you doing at the moment? Thinking

30. Your summer? Almost

31. What color are your underwear? Pink

32. What is the weather like? Tricky

33. When is the last time you laughed? Yesterday

34. What is on your tv? Mistery

23

2009-02-25T17:33:00.004+02:00

Postul cu nr 23. Vreau sa fie unul special si pentru aceasta o sa povestesc despre o zi extrem de speciala, ciudata intr-un mod grotesc, din viata unei fete speciale.

Il sunase toata ziua...de dimineata pana aproape de a fi prea tarziu. Nu era obsedata, disperata sau vreun alt adjectiv care ar putea caracteriza o persoana fara creier sau personalitate incerand marea cu degetul. Singurul lucru care se putea citi pe fatza ei dupa fiecare apel ramas fara raspuns era tristetea. O incerca un sentiment atat de sinistru incat nu ii dorea nici celui mai mare dusman sa treaca prin ce trecea ea. Stia ca se intampla dar nu ii venea sa creada. Pentru a nu stiu cata oara isi pariase inima si pierduse. Iar de data asta, ca niciodata o aruncase chiar pe toata. Oare mai putea sa traiasca dupa asta? Dupa ultima lui zi aici? Nu putea stii... singurul lucru pe care il stia era ca el trebuia sa afle totul. Despre ea, si inima pe care o lua cu el.
Se intunecase demult si de si mai mult se presupunea ca ea trebuie sa fie acasa dar nu o interesa. Ce mai conta ce va urma dupa ziua respectiva? Mai avea aproape o ora, si destula baterie la telefon. Apelurile ramanand in continuare fara raspuns, se hotaraste sa scrie un mesaj in care sa ii spuna tot ce vroia ca el sa stie. Macar acum, in ultimul moment. Dupa 6 mesaje inlantuite, si cateva momente de ezitare, apasa send. In secunda urmatoare ii suna telefonul. Mesajul inca se trimitea. Vede numele Lui pe ecran si se blocheaza. Troleul oprese la semafor in intersectia cu calea victoriei, la pizza hut. Ea isi muta pentru o clipa ochii de pe telefon pe ceasul din strada si vede: 23.23. Trezindu-se la timp din shoc, raspunde. Are o ultima conversatie cu el, neavand insa prea multe de spus, intrucat mesajul continea totul. Il indeamna sa citeasca mesajul si se consoleaza ascultandu-i vocea.
Ea incheie ziua de 23 ramanand sa doarma la un prieten, fara sa inchida insa vreun ochi pe intreg parcursul noptii. Acum in mintea ei era o disputa continua pe tema mersului la aeroport. Timpul trece insa si devine prea tarziu avionul plecand la 1. Resemnata, se hotaraste sa o sune pe mama ei sa vina sa o ia. Aceasta ii spune ca poate sa o duca acasa dar cu conditia de a-i fi insotitoare pana la aeroport intrucat trebuia sa astepte o prietena. Ha! Life can suck sometimes. I mean like really suck! Fata accepta dar oricat s-ar fi chinuit sa se abtina, pe drum mai scrie un mesaj si asteapta cu nerabdare raportul de remitere. Intra astfel in fisierul de rapoarte si vede ca s-a trimis. Shocul mai mare decat cel avut cand a privit ceasul din intersectie il are cand observa ca mesajul lung din seara precedenta nu s-a expediat. Remember what I said earlier about life sucking. Forget it. LIFE FUCKING STINKS!
Seara, in Acolo, 2 beri au fost suficiente pentru a-i pune capac. Adoarme.
Lumina difuza, vedere ingreunata, la asta contribuind si fumul abundent de tigara, in surdina rasuna un glas cunoscut: "De vodka sau de gin, tequila,rom sau vin, tigari nu mai vorbesc...". Se trezeste brusc, nedumerita, in bratele unui tovaras. Primul gand care i-a trecut prin minte a fost "ok...cum am ajuns in bratele lui?." Dezmeticindu-se, realizeaza ceva. Contrar faptului ca oficial totul s-a terminat iar de peste tot in localul ala se aude melodia lor, ea nu este trista. Nu mai simte mahnire. Are prieteni buni. Cei mai buni. Care au avut grija de ea. Si desi nici El probabil nu o sa dispara niciodata din inima ei, Ei cu siguranta nu vor disparea!
Cat despre nr 23 in acest caz nu stiu daca este magic sau tragic. :))
(Trebuia sa postez asta pe 23 feb. :))k sa fie totul...in stilul caracteristic 23.)
Anyways...this story has no relevance in the present. It's just..out of the ordinary...in both good and bad ways, and worth being told. Time is actually a good healer.

sin is my keyword

2009-02-24T20:05:00.008+02:00

Sunt 7 pacate considerate mortale: lacomia, avaritia, lenea, invidia, furia, mandria si desfraul. Si nu, nu cred in dumnezeu ci doar am vizionat recent (acum cateva ore) filmul Se7en. Interesant.
Nu cred in ideea de pacat dar aceste, sa le numesc trasaturi, ale oamenilor exista si isi fac aparitia mai devreme sau mai tarziu in viata fiecaruia. Unii au parte de ele in mai multe secvente ale existentei lor, altii sunt abonati, aici facandu-se diferenta in functie de caracter.
Eu, personal, pot sa spun ca sunt fidela tuturor. Si ca le manifest destul de agresiv. Dar pana la urma ce conteaza? Atata timp cat sunt fericita, chiar nu ma intereseaza ce se presupune ca e bine sau rau. Singurul bine existent si palpabil este starea mea de bine. Vreau totul, si il vreau pentru mine. There's no other way. Frazele astea doua cam acopera toate "trasaturile" in discutie. :)) And anyways, scopul scuza mijloacele. What to do...I guess I'm not heaven material. :))

PS: acestea fiind spuse, marchez revenirea la tehnologie. I'm back in business!

technologyless!

2009-02-13T13:46:00.003+02:00

din diverse motive...mai mult sau mai putin importante...(majoritatea mai putin decat importante) am ramas fara calculator. Complementul de agent in aceasta propozitie este evident mama. In urma unor altercatii, s-a gandit ea ca daca ma lasa fara tehnologie, ma loveste in punctul slab. (Si cam asa e...dar ea nu trebuie sa stie asta.)
Avand in vedere toate cele spuse mai sus, momentan ma regasesc intr-un orange shop pe calea victoriei, in fata unui laptop, acesta fiind primul meu contact cu un calculator in ultimele 5 zile.
Hopefully, there won't be another 5 days 'till my next one. :D
AAh si ca fapt divers, MI-AM GASIT OCHELARII! :x

99 steps closer to knowing me

2009-02-04T12:06:00.005+02:00

1. 99 de lucruri despre mine nu ajung ca sa ma descriu nici pe sfert din sfertul sfertului.
2. Dar imi place sa vorbesc despre mine deci nu e nici o problema.
3. Poate deveni insa o problema daca vorbesc mult si cu cine nu trebuie. which i tend to do 'cause i love bragging.
4. Ma iubesc.
5. Nu stiu daca am mai iubit si pe altcineva in afara de mine.
6. Pentru ca sunt egoista.
7. Si orgolioasa.
8. Si consider aceste 3 trasaturi ca fiind cele mai bune ale mele dar in acelasi timp si cele mai distrugatoare.
9. Imi place viata pe care am dus-o pana acum.
10. Si sunt convinsa ca viitorul nu poate fi altfel decat stralucit.
11. Cu apartament in NY si porsche carrera 911(ca prima masina :))).
12. Da, am o obsesie pentru masini.
13. Am multe obsesii dar nu imi afecteaza viata in mod negativ.
14. Nu suport animalele.
15. Si sunt obligata sa convietuiesc cu 2 pisici.
16. De obicei merg pe minima rezistenta: fie ca e vorba de scoala sau de cura de slabire.
17. Nu sunt mandra de asta.
18. Vreau tatuajE. ma fascineaza.
19. Seria "Harry Potter" mi se pare geniala
20. La fel de genial mi se pare ca atat J.K. Rowling cat si personajul Harry Potter sunt nascuti in aceeasi zi cu mine.
21. Tin minte foarte multe zile de nastere.
22. Nu imi mai place nici o marca de tigari.
23. Pentru ca am fumat Davidoff rosu 8 luni si mi-e greu sa ma obisnuiesc cu orice altceva.
24. Momentan fumez Dunhill lights.
25. Ziua mea e sarbatoarea mea preferata.
26. Nu vreau sa traiesc mult.
27. Dar vreau sa am timp sa realizez tot imi doresc.
28. Vreau ca viata mea sa insemne ceva, universal vorbind.
29. Am o memorie f buna.
30. In special pentru lucruri nesemnificative.
31. Imi ador ochelarii de soare.
32. Dar cred ca i-am pierdut. Ceea ce ma innebuneste.
33. Ma innebuneste si ironia de a fi pierdut obiectul de care am avut cea mai mare grija.
34. Nu suport ploaia marunta dar mor dupa aia torentiala, vara.
35. Ador tequila, redd's si sheridan's. Nu neaparat in ordinea asta.
36. In filme, mereu fac o pasiune pentru "baiatul rau".
37. Cred ca in alta viata am fost mafioata.
38. Am avut cateva deja-vu-uri. Kinda' freaky.
39. Visez mult si legat de ce mi se intampla in ziua respectiva.
40. Cred in zodiac, nu in horoscop. si nu pe baza a ce am citit undeva, ci pe cazuri reale, asemanari luate dintre persoane cunoscute.
41. Nu cred in dumnezeu, detest biserica pentru ca reprezinta inca o dovada de prostie a omenirii.
42. Urasc prostia.
43. Nu o sa inteleg niciodata rasistii.
44. Urasc cum un profesor poate sa ma faca sa urasc o materie pe care o adoram.
45. Am facut lucruri urate.
46. Dar mi-am primit pedeapsa. (cel putin asa imi place sa cred. ca sunt pedepsita)
47. Nu mananc legume si fructe. Deloc.
48. Ciocolata mea preferata e... orice ciocolata :)) Dar cand pot sa aleg, optez pentru Milka Chocolate Dessert.
49. Am pasta de dinti roz.
50. Si mestec numai Orbit pentru copii, tot roz.
51. Pentru ca nu suport menta.
52. Imi place sa rememorez in anumite zile ce am facut anul trecut in zilele respective.
53. Nu mi-as da amintirile pentru nimic in lume.
54. Colectionez pachete de tigari. De cu mult inainte sa ma apuc de fumat.
55. Am in pastrare si un numar considerabil de bilete de la cinema.
56. All-time favourite song : Justin Timberlake - Cry me a river.
57. Imi place sa ascult melodii si sa imi imaginez filmulete care sa se potriveasca cu versurile.
58. Daca ar fi sa aleg o super-putere ar fi sa citesc ganduri.
59. De 3 ani ma dau cu acelasi parfum ca atunci cand cineva il simte, sa ma identifice cu mirosul.
60. Parfumul meu e Dolce & Gabanna - Light Blue.
61. Imi place mai mult sa scriu in engleza decat in romana.
62. Abia astept sa stapanesc si franceza calumea.
63. Imi place sa cant.
64. Nu cred ca prima impresie conteaza.
65. Aproape fiecare persoana pe care am ajuns sa o cunosc imi parea cu totul altfel la prima impresie.
66. Sunt o persoana rationala.
67. Ma ghidez dupa logica.
68. Si gandesc de 543985743953 de ori inainte sa actionez.
69. Iar cateodata imi doresc sa uit de logica, de ratiune, de mandrie si de orice fel de reguli si sa fiu impulsiva.
70. Dar stiu ca asta nu o sa se intample niciodata. Ar fi impotriva naturii mele.
71. Cred ca in viata foarte mult se rezuma la prioritati si probabilitati.
72. Cred ca faptul ca m-am nascut in Romania ma trage mult in jos.
73. Nu regret insa ce n-am trait.
74. Sunt fericita ca am gasit cativa oameni care tin la mine si la care merita sa tin si eu.
75. Ma frustreaza ca nu am explicatie pentru niste actiuni care m-au afectat.
76. Ma afecteaza si mai mult nedreptatea.
77. Nu stiu sa innot.
78. Nici sa merg pe bicicleta.
79. Am vazut Cruel Intentions 1 de 42 de ori.
80. De fiecare data cand revad Star Wars II fac un crush pe Hayden Christensen.
81. De fiecare fata cand revad Alfie imi dau palme. (filmul ala pur si simplu nu poate sa fie real.)
82. Ma seaca Reese Witherspoon.
83. Ieri am stat 12 ore in Ikea si am jucat Rentz.
84. As mai fi stat daca nu se inchidea.
85. Linkul blogului meu are dublu sens. 1. I love myself. 2. e scris cu "w" pt ca "lowe" in germana inseamna LEU :D
86. Detin peste 300 de jucarii de plus, fiecare avand nume.
87. Jocul care m-am jucat cel mai mult pe calculator e Heroes IV.
88. Am jucat si Lineage II.
89. M-am schimbat mult dintr-a 8-a intr-a 9-a si dintr-a 9-a intr-a 10-a.
90. Nu ma combin decat daca simt ca vreau sa ii dau totul persoanei respective.
91. Da, sunt foarte selectiva.
92. Si perfectionista.
93. Nu observ anumite trasaturi ale oamenilor, ii privesc in ansamblu.
94. Sunt convinsa ca daca ma mai trezesc mult la 5.30 o sa ajung la nebuni.
95. Imi place sa analizez coincidentele.
96. Nu prea ma intereseaza unde merg atata timp cat compania e placuta.
97. Nu suport sa pierd la vreun joc.
98. As vrea sa am sansa sa repar fiecare greseala care am facut-o.
99. I like to believe that what's meant to be will find its way eventually.

movies and me.

2009-02-02T20:49:00.008+02:00

In sfarsit am vazut filmul pe care l-am asteptat cel mai mult cred, dupa Sex and the City, si anume, Body of Lies. Si in ciuda numelor mari: Ridley Scott, Russel Crowe, Leonardo di Caprio, si a tagline-ului "Trust no one. Deceive everyone." care m-au atras in prima instanta, am fost dezamagita. Ok, jos palaria pentru regie si chiar si pentru Leo care a facut un rol bunicel, dar in rest, plictisitor.
Ca tot veni vorba despre filme, o sa trec aici o lista de must-see. Filme care m-au marcat intr-un fel sau altul. ori m-au facut sa rad, sa plang, mi-au trezit obsesii sau m-au facut sa vad anumite lucruri din alt punct de vedere.

sa le impart si pe categorii cat decat:
siropoase&plans
comedii
twisted(nu stii ce se ntampla)
interesante
de chillout
impresionante

###Jeux d'enfants (atat.)
#Cruel Intentions 1 (i know every single line by heart. that must say something.)
#Alfie (u cannot be a living female and not have seen this movie.)
#Requiem for a dream (harsh, but beautifully made)
## Closer (people can be so broken)
#Gladiator (a story about pride and glory)
##The Butterfly Effect (no matter how hard we want to, we can't change the past)
#If Only (ma intreb daca exista o limita de plans la un film? daca da, am depasit-o sigur uitandu-ma la asta.)
##The Shawshank Redemption (intelligence can't be replaced)
###Meet Joe Black (paradox: sa-ti spuna Brad Pitt ca vrea sa te ia cu el si tu sa nu te duci)
#The Longest Yard (Adam Sandler rulz)
#Bad Boys 1,2 (dementiale)
##Pirates of the Caribbean (toate) (ador cand continuarea unui film bun se ridica la nivelul primului. cand si partea a3a face concurenta primelor, deja e ciudat. Jack Sparrow: best character ever.)
#Star Wars (love it or hate it. i worship it.)

Alte filme pe care le recomand:
#The Usual Suspects (you either are brilliant or not)
##Armageddon (love and sacrifice. oh and tears. a lot of them)
##Cold Mountain (love and tears again.why has this become typical?)
#Fight Club (The first rule of fight club is you do not talk about fight club.)
##Awake (HBO are o problema cu filmu' asta.)
###Ocean's eleven, twelve, thirteen (i want that life)
#Pride and Prejudice (the title speaks for itself)
##Click (take life as it comes.)
##The Illusionist (nice one)
##The Prestige (magic?)
#The Departed (minciuna iese la suprafata orice ar fi)
#Deja Vu (complicat dar interesant)
#Minority Report (same here)
#Vanilla Sky (same here also :)) ce pot sa spun imi plac filmele imprevizibile)
#The Bourne Identity, Supremacy, Ultimatum (Bourne e mai ceva ca Chuck Norris)
##A lot like love (what's meant to be finds its way eventually)
##Factory Girl (Hayden Christensen si atat.)
##Original Sin (tradare, minciuna iar tradare. a dracu Angelina asta.)
##21 (e bine sa fii tocilar cateodata)
#Gia (models and drugs. more than typical)
##Domino (cat poate sa fumeze femeia asta)
#What Happens in Vegas (Gotta love Ashton Kutcher and hate Cameron Diaz :D)
#I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry (it's like a circle...)
#Spanglish (nush dc da' am plans de am rupt la asta :-??)
#Virgin Territory (atat de idiot incat nu poti sa nu razi :)) in plus, e cu Hayden Christensen deci nu prea conteaza daca e idiot sau nu.)
#Mean Girls (highschool dramas)
#A walk to remember (da. la asta chiar se intelege de ce am plans)
#A cinderella story (cute. + there's Chad Michael Murray involved)
##John Tucker Must Die (adevarul gol golut despre baieti si liceu)

no.

2009-02-01T18:56:00.006+02:00

What happened in the past stays in the past. As much as I want to, I can't go back 1 year, or 2 months, and I can't bring then, now. I'm so out of this world, always wanting to reach perfection or more accurately said, re-reach perfection. Is it so wrong that I want what's best for me? That I can never settle with having less than I need? That I keep hoping I'll have my way even though all the voices around me are telling me to let go? I can't. I won't. They know nothing about me, us. And they don't need to. I, myself, sometimes wish I didn't know so much. Because it scares me to think how something that is astoundingly breathtaking can also break your heart into thousands of pieces and maim them so they can't be put back together into one. A lot of things scare me by their intensity going back to that time, especially my complete lack of care for anything else except my own pleasure. Maybe I was selfish, maybe I didn't care about the rest because I only found sense in that particular matter. I believe that what goes around comes around. And the wheel may have turned against me for now but we all know the main thing about about wheels: they spin.

1st equals beginning?

2009-02-01T16:44:00.004+02:00

1 februarie. Aveam in obicei sa cred ca datele de 1 sunt magice :)) stupid, dar tinand cont de faptul ca anii trecuti (cu referire la 2007 si 2008) aproape in fiecare luna pe data de 1 am avut parte de o zi super tare, e explicabil. Acum credinta asta e un mit. Daca nu mi-a mai fost alimentata, cum sa o continui?
1 februarie 2008 : martin. suie. cola+rom. noi. sincron.
1 februarie 2009 : fiecare in alta parte. eu: trezit la 1, sala, stat la calculator. ce urmeaza inca nu stiu dar pot sa prezic: ceva de mancare->calculator->somn :)) but hey...it's still the 1st!. Maybe today will give me a reason to start believing in the magic of the 1st again. Maybe not. There's a 50% chance. It always is.

1+1=0

2009-01-27T21:44:00.004+02:00

prevailed today.
I woke up at 5.30 am and realised I don't wanna go to school. But I had already awakened so even if I went to sleep (which I did), my sleep wouldn't have been as good as if Ihadn't woken up at all. And it wasn't. I got up at half past eight :| my stupid dreams managed to get me out of bed. 2 miscalculations so far. The third comes with me arriving to school and finding nobody there :-j I thought the weather would be warmer and I thought I'd win at Backgammon. I miscalculated again. I really wanted to get home early, go to the gym and also download the latest Gossip Girl epsiode. None happened. It seems that the owners of the torrent I'm using miscalculated !
Is it my fault alone? Or is it that I've slipped into a pit full of BAD LUCK?!

"Vreau" by Afina

2009-01-27T10:04:00.003+02:00

Nu stiu de ce am avut asa un impuls sa recitesc asta. M-a miscat. Cred ca o sa ma emotioneze fiecare recitire a sa. Au trecut 2 ani, si cu cat o sa treaca mai multi, cu atat o sa fie mai puternica melancolia pe care mi-o induce. Am spus atunci ca mereu o sa ma intorc cu bucurie la momentele alea, nu cu regret, si asa este. Sun fericita, ba nu, sunt extaziata, foarte extaziata, superlativ absolut, de faptul ca am fost acolo si am trait Clasa a 9-a (it's worth capitalizing) alaturi de Generatia de Boboci 2006-2007. Nu are rost sa descriu ce a insemnat asta pentru ca cei care au fost acolo stiu, iar cei care nu au fost n-or sa inteleaga niciodata.
Acum, ma intreb, cum sa citesc despre si sa ma intorc cu gandul la o vreme in care faceam exact ce vroiam, fara stres, fara griji, fara jocuri, manevre sau interese, si sa nu imi doresc sa vina inapoi?

Desigur, am 2 teorii care se bat cap in cap. Vreau clasa a 9-a inapoi dar nu regret ce a urmat dupa ea :)) Exlplicatia ar fi ca si intr-a 10-a am avut parte de momente superbe chiar daca nu mai eram la fel de libera sau de inocenta. Trecusem in alta etapa. Din anumite puncte se poate spune ca evoluasem, altfel, ca involuasem.
Cert e ca am trecut prin multe faze, stari, dorinte implinite sau nu si concluzia pe care am tras-o, si pe care am mai sublinat-o intr-un post, este ca tanjim dupa momentele in care am fost cu adevarat fericiti. Nu vrem sa se intoarca respectivele ocazii, dar vrem sa ne simtim mereu cum ne-am simtit atunci.

Passion has no limits. But power does.

2009-01-26T22:42:00.004+02:00

Let's not forget about the word of the day. I skipped writing about the weekend 'cause my schedule was unbelievably dull: computer-kitchen-bathroom-(repeat). But today wasn't.
My word for today is:

Red top. Red bag. Red shoes. => Red atitude. Red overdoses me on confidence. Red means power, passion, but also could be the sign for limits. Someone should have showed me the limit today after my second sandwich. Well if I had no limits today does that mean there was only passion and power? Passion requires power. There could be passion but there's no power left. So no more pushing against the wall.

Protest impotriva efemeritatii timpului

2009-01-26T21:53:00.008+02:00

Azi m-a lovit destul puternic un adevar universal. Este ceva stiut si am incins destule discutii pe tema lui insa nu stiu de ce astazi a reusit sa se strecoare si sa-mi sara in fatza intr-un mod barbar: Timpul trece. Si al dracului de repede.
Am realizat ca ultimele 6 luni au trecut subit, mult mai repede decat cele 6 dinaintea lor. Paradoxal miturilor populare cum ca timpul zboara cand esti fericit si parca stagneaza cand peisajul nu e chiar roz, ultima jumatate de an a fost parca n-a fost in comparatie cu prima. Pot sa numar momentele fericite pe degetele de la o mana... Stiu..Stiu ca ar trebui sa fiu multumita, poate altii nu au parte nici de acelea insa eu nu ma gandesc niciodata "hey, stai ca poate altii sunt mai nefericiti", nu. Pentru mine exista mereu "se poate mai bine de atat". Poate sunt prea perfectionista. Poate cer mai mult decat imi este permis. Poate pur si simplu nu pot sa ma obisnuiesc cu mai putin cand am avut cat am avut. Nu vreau.

Gotta love icons

2009-01-25T20:21:00.024+02:00

Hm...cam prea mult scris si prea putine poze . Ultimu post a umplut pagina d scris:)) asa k m-am gandit sa trec aici cateva avataruri din colectia mea. Aveam o pasiune pentru avataruri de genu. :))Toata ziua pe iconator.com sau mai stiu eu ce siteuri mai erau. Here you go:

CLICK PE IMAGINE. M-am chinuit sa o fac sa se vada (cre' ca are 3000 de pixeli, vreo 5MB) si tot nu se vede. in schimb cu click se face de 2 ori cat pagina :))

Ok...poate sunt mai mult decat cateva :)) heey..aveam o pasiune. Cand am o pasiune e pasiune frate!

Leapsa muzicala

2009-01-25T17:53:00.004+02:00

hm...cum sunt de prea putin timp in blogosfera n-am primit nici o leapsa. Dar totusi am chef sa fac una asa ca o sa fac eu singura una :)) oricum probabil multi au facut-o deja.
I'm pressing Play on my iTunes now.

1. How are you feeling today?
Beyonce - Irreplaceable (I know, I know...I'm so unique)

2. Will you get far in life?
Eminem - Lose Yourself (if I only get one shot, I'm not gonna miss my chance to blow)

3. How do your friends see you?
Panic! at the Disco - London Beckoned Songs About Money Written By Machines (London, Money, I wish)

4. Will you get married?
Rihanna feat. Nicole Scherzinger - Winning Woman (hey..Nicole is marying Hamilton, Rihanna has Chris Brown, does that mean I get Hayden Christensen?)

5. What is your best friend’s theme?
Madonna - Miles Away (I hate being away from my friends)

6. What is the story of your life?
Evanescence - Taking over me (Hm...its lyrics do say something)

7. What was high school like?
Jet - Are you gonna be my girl? (oh...high school is such a tease)

8. How can you get ahead in life?
Lil Bow Wow feat Omarion - Let me hold you (life's always better when someone's holdin' ya)

9. What is the best thing about your friends?
Limp Bizkit - Behind blue eyes (none has blue eyes:)) )

10. What is in store for this weekend?
DJ Optik feat Activ - Music is driving me crazy (tambalau si panarama)

11. What song describes you?
Paris Hilton - Nothing in this world ( :)))))))))))this is so appropriate)

12. To describe your grandparents?
Usher - Simple Things (yeah..she always made me remind that simple things are what really matters)

13. How is your life going?
Destiny's child - Survivor (Bingo!)

14. What song will they play at your funeral?
Anna Lesko - Lasa-ma (let me go but don't forget me)

15. How does the world see you?
Ashlee Simpson - Pieces of me (the title speaks for itself)

16. Will you have a happy life?
Marius & Giulia - Rain (Rain ruins my hair)

17. What do your friends really think about you
Simplu - Mr. Originality (Thank you thank you, you're far too kind)

18. Do people secretly lust after you?
Paul van Dyk feat Rea Garvey - Let go (yeah, let go! I'm not interested)

19. How can I make myself happy?
Suie Paparude - Vrei mesaj (cred ca am primit cateva mesaje care m-au fericit. in special alea de la VF: Ati primit bonus 1$ ! yeey)

20. What should you do with your life?
Praf in Ochi - O mie de ganduri (O mie de ganduri...adevarat. Nu prea sunt hotarata ce vreau sa fac.)

Twilight

2009-01-25T17:08:00.004+02:00

Nu, nu sunt obsedata de filmul Twilight iar Robert Pattinson ma lasa absolut rece. In schimb, caut de ceva vreme cartea Twilight. Nu Amurg, Twilight. Am citit putin din Amurg si descrierile suna penibil in romana. So... please, give me a hand here! Daca vedeti sau auziti ceva, pls contact me.

Moments of heaven on earth

2009-01-25T13:37:00.007+02:00

Se termina ianuarie si eu tot nu m-am apucat de singura chestie pe care cu adevarat mi-am dorit sa o fac in acest an: sa scriu in fiecare zi ce am facut, ce mi s-a facut, ce am observat, cine m-a observat si cel mai important, ce sentimente mi s-au trezit. Sa tin o evidenta, sa vad cum evoluez, sa pot sa ma intorc peste 6 luni sa vad ce simteam cu 6 luni in urma.
Am vrut si anul trecut sa tin acest registru si nu am facut-o. Inca regret, si cred ca o sa regret mereu pentru ca 2008 a fost cu siguranta un an pliiiiin de evenimente fiecare din ele meritand sa fie imortalizat.
In 2007 am fost mai breaza, am luat un calendar si am reusit sa scriu (cu ajutorul Ellei) toate evenimentele in data in care s-au intamplat. Si erau destule..totusi...clasa a 9-a :))
Si inca am in cap toate fazele importante... in special momentele in care am fost fericita. Tin minte tot setul de detalii: vizuale, auditive, motionale, tactile, olfactive si sentimentale. (In cateva stiu si cu eram imbracata) .Consider o mare realizare ca am in istorie niste clipe in care pot sa spun ca am fost fericita. Fie ca au fost literalmente cateva clipe dintr-o anumita zi, minute, sau o zi intreaga. Si sunt fericita de fiecare data cand le redau in minte. Dar lasandu-ma pe minte deoparte, cred ca aceste bucatele de timp simtit pozitiv la intensitate maxima sunt ceea ce conteaza intr-adevar. Indiferent de prioritatile pe care le-ai avut, cati bani ai obtinut sau la ce ai renuntat, la sfarsit tot ce ai sunt amintirile momentelor in care te-ai simtit stapanul lumii.

"Moments of heaven on earth. Maybe that's all we need to know"

Ray Ban - Around the world

2009-01-24T20:17:00.011+02:00

Dintre toate orasele lumii, cel mai mult imi doresc sa vad New York, Paris si Milano. Ma rog... vreau sa vizitez toata lumea...dar in special aceste 3 orase...
Eram acum cateva zile in Baneasa Shopping City si am ajuns si in fata la Sunglasses Hut. Bineinteles m-au apucat crizele cu gandul la raposatii mei ochelari :-< (care cine stie unde or fi, pe mainile cine stie cui...) si ma gandeam si disperam si brusc m-am oprit. Am observat posterul din vitrina. Suna cam asa:

Put them on.
Fly to New York.
Jump to Milan.
Get lost in Paris.

Reactia mea a fost ceva de genu' :o :-s... ok...you can show me the hidden' camera now... Freaky!

For more pleasure, Mix !

2009-01-24T15:02:00.015+02:00

When I hear the word "mix", lots of stuff occur to me. For now, I'm only gonna reveal one of them: Cocktails. Cocktail, refering to an alcoholic beverage containing multiple types of liquor. I must specify because "cocktail" has various meanings too. :)) ok...i''m leaving my sick mind out now...
First, here are the most common types of glasses:

Now here are what I consider to be the must-know recipes:

Now these ones are classical. Besides these three, there are like a gazilion others. You wouldn't believe what the human mind is able to conceive. Just check out these cocktail names:
Absolute Chainsaw, Alien Urine Sample, Ebola, Alligator Piss, Ankle Breaker, Apple Slut, The Boiling Panther, Hairy Sunrise, Horse's Neck, Wa-Hoo-wa
, Wild-Ass Indian, Umbrella Man Special, Gorilla Fart, Is That A Banana In Your Pocket?, The Rising Skirt, Shake That Ass...and the list could go on and on (no, that's not a cocktail). I think actually, if I come up with a phrase right now and look it up in the cocktail database there are serious chances there's one cocktail named like that:))
Well, I did find some names that were actually cool. I'd drink something named:
Almost Heaven, Why Not?, Reality Twist, All Night Long, The Usual, Atitude Adjusment, In And Out, Capital Punishment, Eyes Wide Shut, Go Girl!, Secret Place, Sex On The Pool Table, Soul Taker or Sweet Temptation.
I'll post a few recipes some other time.

Chuck Bass & Blair Waldorf

2009-01-24T12:19:00.021+02:00

Am tendinta de a cauta sa ma identific in melodii, filme, situatii... Tot ce vad si aud, automat raportez la mine. De aceea nu prea pot sa ascult melodii care nu au versuri in concordanta cu situatia mea actuala, si in acelasi timp le pun pe un piedestal pe cele in care ma regasesc. In filme e mult mai dificil sa gasesc un personaj care sa se asemene cu mine sau cu vreo situatie cunoscuta. Cand am dat peste Chuck si Blair in Gossip Girl... s-a terminat smecheria :)) ca sa ma exprim asa. Ii ador. Ador cum se prefac ca nu simt nimic pentru altul, schimband replici care sa le sustina mandria. Ador cum li se atrag corpurile involuntar unul de celalalt, avand un nivel de chimie demn de invidiat. Ador cum ar putea avea perfectiunea impreuna dar ei aleg orgoliul. Ador cata placere imi provoaca doar sa ii privesc, impreuna.

Am notat cateva dialoguri :D (sunt in ordine cronologica ca sa se inteleaga cat decat ceva din evolutia relatiei lor)

Blair: You're heinous.
Chuck: Which is probably why you called.
Blair: You know me well.

Blair: You sound like a jealous boyfriend
Chuck: Yeah, right. You wish.
Blair: {Realising} No...you wish.

Blair: Don't worry, I can be bitch enough for both of us.
Chuck: I still have the scars on my back to prove it.

Chuck: Let's take it slow this time. Do it right.
Blair: Chuck Bass is a romantic. Who knew?
Chuck: Well, now you do. That's all that matters.

Chuck: You're lying.
Blair: I am not!
Chuck: Your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match your mouth.
Blair: I wasn't aware that robots got jealous. Did they update your software while I was away?

Chuck: Look I should never have abandoned you. I know I made the wrong decision as soon as your plane took off. Distracted myself all summer...hoping I wouldn't feel it, but I still do.
Blair: And?
Chuck: I was scared...I was scared that if we spent the whole summer together, just us, then you'd see.
Blair: See what?
Chuck: Me. Please don't leave with him.
Blair: Why? Give me a reason and "I'm Chuck Bass" doesn't count.
Chuck: 'Cause you don't want to.
Blair: Not good enough.
Chuck: 'Cause I don't want you to.
Blair: That's not enough.
Chuck: What else is there?
Blair: The true reason, I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words. Eight letters. Say it...and I'm yours.
Chuck: I... I ...
Blair: Thank you. That's all I needed to hear.

Blair: You are disgusting. I hate you.
Chuck: Then why are you still holding my hand?

Chuck: Say those three words you wanted me to say.
Blair: Are you kidding?
Chuck: Not quite. Eight letters. Three syllables. Say them and I'm yours.
Blair: I'm already yours, you're ruining the mood with all this talk.
Chuck: You can't say it. You wanted it from me.
Blair: I'm prepared to settle.
Chuck: Maybe I'm not.
Blair: Chuck Bass, I...will never say those words to you.
Chuck: Then you will never have me.

Chuck: I chased you for long enough, now it's time you chase me.

Blair talking to Dan about Chuck:

Dan: You and chuck have been toying with each other forever. So you didn't win this one. you ever think maybe you should just, I don't know, let it go?
Blair: This is different.
Dan: Why? Do you--do you love him?
Blair: ...
Dan: Wow. someone loves Chuck Bass.
Blair: I don't know. I just...I... I don't understand how it got to this place.
Dan: You know, the first time that I told Serena I loved her, Uh, it was terrifying. I've never felt so exposed. But the feeling that I got when she said it back to me Uh, was probably the single greatest moment of my life.
Blair: But you broke up.
Dan: Doesn't mean I wouldn't do it all over again.
Blair: If I say it, he wins, and if he wins, then I'll just be another girl to him.
Dan: You don't know that that's true. You have to decide what's most important to you: keeping your pride and getting nothing or taking a risk and maybe, maybe, having everything.

Chuck: The reason we can't say those three words to each other isn't because they aren't true.
Blair: Then why?
Chuck: I think we both know that the moment we do, it won't be the start of something. it'll be the end. Think about it. Chuck and Blair going to the movies. Chuck and Blair holding hands.
Blair: We don't have to do those things. We can do the things that we like.
Chuck: What we like is this...
Blair: The game.
Chuck: Without it, I'm not sure how long we'd last. It'd be just be a matter of time before we messed it all up. Look, I'd rather wait. Maybe in the future...
Blair: I suppose there could be some excruciating pleasure in that.

Chuck: I should choose your date.
Blair: Why?
Chuck: Why not? It will let me prove that I know you better than anyone else.

Chuck: I bring a date for you, you bring one for me. Let's see who's paying attention to the other's desires.
Blair: There has to be something to keep you honest. And to make things interesting.
Chuck: Name the stakes.
Blair: If you actually like your date, I get your limo for a month.
Chuck: Fine. And if you like yours I get Dorota.

Blair: Excuse me, he's taken. Shoo!
Chuck: You look lovely.
Blair: Not as lovely as I'll look in my limo.

Blair: We both know that I'm your one and only. And a Canal Street knock-off seemed like the best option.
Chuck: My thinking exactly.

Chuck: Dance with me.
Blair: What's the point, Chuck. We're never going to be them. You said so, remember? It's not for us.
Chuck: Maybe. But I wouldn't change us. Not if it meant losing what we have.
Blair: And what do we have, Chuck? You tell me.
Chuck: Tonight. So shut up, and dance with me.

Blair: Chuck! Stop! Don't go. Or if you have to leave, let me come with you.
Chuck: I appreciate the concern.
Blair: No. You don't. You don't appreciate anything today. But I don't care. Whatever you're going through, I want to be there for you.
Chuck: We talked about this. You are not my girlfriend.
Blair: But I am me. And you are you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done—the darkest thought you've ever had—I will stand by you through anything.
Chuck: And why would you do that?
Blair: Because I love you.
Chuck: Well that's too bad.

Chuck: I'm Chuck Bass! No one cares.
Blair: I do! Don't you understand? I'll always be here! I don't want you going anywhere. I couldn't bear it. So whatever you wanna do to yourself, please don't do that to me. Please.
Chuck: I'm sorry.
Blair: It's okay.

Blair: How could you?
Chuck: Did you do all this?
Blair: What? Throw you a brunch? Trying to do something nice and supportive? Yes.
Chuck: I don't need your help. Stop trying to play the wife

Chuck: I'm sorry, I screwed up.
Blair: It's too late Chuck. I stood by you through all of this but I can't watch you self-distruct any longer.
Chuck: Jack set me up
Blair: There's no one to blame but yourself. I believed in you. Your father believed in you. You...are the only one who didn't. All I wanted to do was...just, be there. But today when you called me your wife...made it sound like the ugliest word in the world
Chuck: Blair...please...
Blair: I'm sorry, I'm done.

Ce-a urmat...inca n-a fost filmat :)) so looking 4ward to finding out.

Acest post este adresat iubitorilor de Gossip Girl.
Dar am un mesaj si pentru ceilalti: UITATI-VA LA GOSSIP GIRL :))

TV series: addictive tear-gas

2009-01-24T10:32:00.007+02:00

Tocmai am terminat de vizionat ultimul episod aparut din Grey's Anatomy. Si am terminat si un pachet de servetele cu ocazia asta... Nici nu mai stiu de cand n-am mai plans. Nu sunt, in general, o persoana plangacioasa. Vaicareata poate dar de plans, plang in doar 2 situatii : nervi sau filme.
Tin minte ca am plans la Click, Armageddon, Jeux d'enfants, Star Wars III, A walk to remember, Spanglish, si cam aproape tot filmul am bocit la If only. Am mai scapat cate-o lacrima si uitandu-ma la One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy sau Sex and the City, mai ales ultimul episod din satc - crima. 8->
Imi place sa ma uit la seriale, parca ma rup realitate... mai ales ca am obisnuinta sa ma uit la 5-6 episoade deodata, cele mai multe intr-o zi au fost 12 din One Tree Hill. Asa am facut cu toate serialele. Sex and the City, One Tree Hill, The Tudors, Grey's Anatomy si Gossip Girl. Numai Desperate Housewives l-am urmarit la TV. Era foarte tare sa termin un episod si in loc sa injur ca tre' sa astept o saptamana sa vad ce se intampla, Open->next episode->play. si dai si uita-te. Eram cam autista ce-i drept :)) Nu prea mai dadeam pe afara.
In prezent urmaresc 4 seriale(cu ratie insa :-<):

Gossip Girl : apare lunea in america -> martea la noi pe torrent :D
One Tree Hill : tot luni -> tot marti
Grey's Anatomy : joi la ei -> vineri la noi
Desperate Housewives : in fiecare joi la 20.30 pe Prima TV

I Love You More

2009-01-24T00:26:00.005+02:00

am gasit siteul asta si mi s-a parut simpatic.

pregatiri de valentine's day cica. :-j Don't get me wrong, n-am nimic cu valentine's day doar ca mi s-a cam luat de sentimentalisme momentan.
who cares? ideea e chiar draguta.

To be or not to be stupid

2009-01-23T21:55:00.007+02:00

Toti suntem diferiti, la fel ca toti ceilalti :)) Ma distreaza teribil sintagma asta. Dar totusi... cat de diferiti suntem? Suntem toti proiectati sa avem 2 maini, 2 picioare, 2 ochi, etc dar nu toti avem. Daca ne numaram insa printre norocosii sanatosi, in viata noastra apar alt gen de probleme. Daca am evolua, si am gasi solutia la ele, ar aparea altele. Nimeni nu atinge perfectiunea. Pot garanta insa ca unii vor fi mai aproape decat altii, pentru ca DA, suntem diferiti! Totul porneste de la organul cel mai interesant... creierul.
Ideea este ca majoritatea oamenilor sunt prosti. Dar sa fie oare asta un lucru rau? Foarte des imi vine in cap Cheloo zicand "Daca eram putin mai prost eram fericit". Un om prost poate fi fericit mult mai usor decat unul inteligent, avand standarde semnificativ mai coborate si teluri mai usor de atins.
Astfel in momentele in care imi dau seama in ce lume traim, in ce tara am avut ghinionul sa ma nasc, cat de nesemnificative au ajuns sa fie o viata sau chiar un milion de vieti in comparatie cu banul, cat s-au modificat prioritatile si cum nu pot schimba nimic, in momentele alea... ma aud zicand "vreau sa fiu proasta".In acele clipe, imi doresc sa nu fiu capabila sa inteleg ce se intampla in jurul meu, sa deschid televizorul, sa dau la maxim pe taraf tv si sa ma simt cea mai fericita de pe planeta. Imi retrag insa repede dorinta asta. Ma iubesc si imi place ca ma duce capul...oricat de multe probleme mi-ar crea asta :)) Si cred ca fiecare ar trebui sa se iubeasca, mult. Fara apa si aer nu putem trai, dar fara incredere in sine, degeaba consumam apa si aerul.

Word of the day

2009-01-23T20:08:00.005+02:00

M-am gandit sa pun in practica o chestie pe care am ochit-o in Alfie. (Pe langa sex pe masa de biliard)Ma rog...vreau sa adaptez ideea initiala. Faza e in felul urmator, probabil a 3a oara cand am vazut filmu (cand am reusit sa imi dezlipesc ochii de pe Jude) am remarcat calendarul lui Alfie. Pentru fiecare zi avea un cuvant scris, si el trebuia sa il foloseasca in ziua respectiva. Eu zic altfel: Sinteza zilei intr-un cuvant.
Let's see:

Friday, 23.01.2009 :

Time was so little today, so was my luck, (contrarily to the fact that it was the 23rd). Fortunatelly, fun wasn't little, and neither was I comparing to almost everybody around me. My dress was little and little is "Samsing"'s brain. I sticked to my diet for little then I had pizza. The pizza wasn't little. Half a pack of cigarettes is little. The recently opened Starbucks on Titulescu boulevard is definitely not little, but my budget is so I guess I'm waiting for little to become grand, and I'm wishing that grand hadn't become so little.

Everything has a beginning

2009-01-22T22:37:00.004+02:00

da. chiar imi place quote-ul care serveste drept titlu la acest prim post. E pe intelesul tuturor, simplu, dar in acelasi timp lasa loc pentru complex. Iti spune ca se va intampla ceva, dar nu si lucrul respectiv. Se stie ca orice lucru isi are un inceput, undeva, cumva dar evolutia lui depinde. In primul rand de el, si apoi de restul lucrurilor din sfera sa de activitate.
Cam asta e ideea si cu blogul meu. Incerc. De ce nu? Chiar imi face placere. Nu prea m-am abtinut de la lucruri care imi provoaca placere, nu o sa incep acum.

! un scurt PS: o sa aberez. mult. :)) simt asta.
e 23.00. asta inseamna k doar o ora ne desparte de ziua 23 a lunii ianuarie. (am o obsesie cu nr asta. long story. actually, not so long, just...freaky and not suited for tonight's mood.)

oficial am inaugurat blogul. acum pot sa ma duc sa ma culc.